okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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