she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize