shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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