I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
