Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
