the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Let's get the cat blown out
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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