I need help removing her.
another moral hangover. fuck.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
