um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is wine microwaveable?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
