i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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