I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
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i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
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Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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