marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
