I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
