There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
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Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
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I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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