Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
