Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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