She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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