Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
