Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
