Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
