She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
