pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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