i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
