And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
