i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
