So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
