im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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