The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
