things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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