Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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