I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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