Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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