so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
