Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
