we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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