the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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