Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
