We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Oh god it's open bar.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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