We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I am in a vortex of obligation.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
