is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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