my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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