do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Terrible idea I love it
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
