ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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