haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
