i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Its about making memories worth repressing
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
