he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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