Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
