So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
