come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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