your thong is hanging out like whoa
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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