You were right. It hurts to walk today.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
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I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
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I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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