are you still at the devil's house?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize