Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
