weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
