You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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