Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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