actually, I'm a sock model
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
