I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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