How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
