Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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