i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
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either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
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Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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