someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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