Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
